Thoughts.....

Is 3am in the morning and I know that I should be sleeping now. But can't sleep at all. So thought maybe I should use my iPad to blog a little about how am I feeling or thinking. If you find it boring you may skip this post.

I am not someone who like to be restricted in every single thing I do. Be it in school at work family or friends. A carefree person who want to do thing my way and of course must be the right way. Without restricted or anything, I just do it whatever or however I want it to be. Is just like free writing. Writing whatever you are thinking and state it down in black and white like what am I doing now. If I am being restricted to too many stuffs I might feel suffocated? And start thinking that what have I do wrong that I have to do things so discreetly. If I need to be so discreet that there is only one option. Either I continue doing whatever I want or I stop doing every single thing. Meaning won't post even one single letter or pixels about it. Perhaps that's the easy way out? I am do or don't do it person. There's Is nothing like I do a bit here and there but not too much.

Sometimes I wonder why is it that my life is always so tough and miserable. Did I do anything terrible In my past life? Thing have never ever go smoothly for me before. To every decision I made is always a mistakes. My life is full of mistakes. Sometimes even knowing that is a mistake and I should not be making it, I still did. I still lie to myself that it is not a mistake at all. How foolish am I to always think thing in a really simple manner and always end up hurting myself. Will there be a day someone come over to me and tell me that I am not making mistake this time round or the someone will tell me that he/she will correct the mistake that I made for me, tell me that it is not a mistake at all is just that I dint realize it. But I guess that is pretty impossible.

I just want to be happy and laugh from the bottom of my heart.